Work, handphones and people

posted onJune 27, 2000

by hitbsecnews

Here
I am again to rambling about what's in my funky ass mind! I'll just start
off here quoting a line from Ozzy Osborne, "Of all the things I've
lost, I miss my mind the most!" There we go! Nothing like a quote
from Ozzy to get things started!Work
the one thing in life, which I guess will always be there no matter what,
well even when you die, someone will be doing it for you. Not to mention
when you retire, some small fart will have to do it for you with smaller
pay. Do you ever wonder why work keeps piling up like the Petronas Twin
Towers? I mean even for the most organized person? You finish one thing
and even before you can file it up, something else comes up? There was
one morning when I woke up saying FUCK! I still have 32 years to go before
I can actually retire??

Imagine
working in the same bloody company for 32 years and seeing the same people
for the next, what TEN YEARS? I am always envious of what people do for
a living, not so much on how much they earn but what they do to get it.
Firstly game reviewers, all they do is play games and say some crap about
it, secondly, writers for travel magazines, all they do is travel to the
best places in the world, do some of the most amazing activities and talk
about it. Lastly, porn actors, not actresses but actors - all they have
to do is FUCK! What the hell, it is like the easiest job in the world!
All you have to do is come up with the same old script, "oh yea,
oh yea, I cumming!"

What? Like they go home and see their wives and tell them they had a HARD
day at work today, my bloody director made me FUCK 12 beautiful girls
with huge tits, then if that wasn't bad enough I had to let them give
me BLOW JOBS for 2 hours! And my boss is going to fire me for cumming
too soon!? What the hell is wrong with this world?! I mean seriously! Someone throw me a bone!

Alright
lets talk about cellphones now! Everyfucking joe and his dog has one!
It has become a fashion statement and a necessity for normal human beings!
Friends compare how small the phones are, how light it is, how many functions
it has and finally the PRICE! Have you ever wondered why they have all
these fly functions in cell phones? Things like games, calculators, infrared
ports and torchlights? Beats me, what will they think of next? Prolly
they will try and incorporate a Swiss army knife into the phone just in
case if you are lost in Taman Negara and you do not have phone service,
you'll still be able to stay alive until you find civilization to get
a clear one bar signal to call TUDM to airlift you out of that God forsaken
place!

I
have always been amazed at these people who carry the huge bulky phones,
like the really ancient phones, from I guess the Maya era, Motorola I
think, the one that Phua Chu Kang carries. How can they carry a big brick
like that? I guess it was Motorola's way of saying "we have more
functions!" It acts as a hammer, a crab shell cracker, a weapon,
a dumbbell, paperweight, a can crusher, and God knows what else! WOW!
With the cost of that phone, you could have bought like 4 motorcycles
at that time! Have you ever seen one of those Nokia Cityman phones? I
had the pleasure of carrying one of those when I was with the last publisher!
Let me describe how it looks like and how much it weighs. First of all
it looks like a flat-ass piece of brick with humugus buttons (it was known
as buttons before the word key pad evolved) and had a piece of string
sticking out at the corner like a camera! You couldn't even fit it in
a pocket! It weighs like 10kgs (I am exaggerating) and I had to haul it
in a trolly to have it around! Charge the batteries for 14 hours and it
will amazingly last you for about 1 hour and 12 minutes! That was how
contented people were at that time. It cost a cold RM 20,000 per unit!
FUCK! Imagine what you could have done with that kind of cash! I guess it is a compulsory accessory for people nowadays as you see in the newspapers
where they feature pictures of primary 6 school students calling their
parents to inform them what results they got for their UPSR exams! In
our time, we had to run home, like 60kms away from the school to tell
our good parents how bad we did in the exams!

That
brings me on to my next rant - people! How do we define people, I don't
even know how to actually classify us. Prolly the best way would be by
tribes instead of races, religion and nationality! I enjoy sitting in
shopping complexes looking at how people act and dress. You see young
couples, old timers, not so old not so young people and much, much more!
I enjoy looking at a couple and think "what the hell is that chick
doing with that old tubby bitch?!?" Well, they have their reasons.
I have had the pleasure of joining this elite group of people who were
classified as couples. Believe me it is the next best thing to having
a foot massage after a 1,000km marathon, running next to 30,000 sweating
men, or perhaps feasting on a really big tub of low fat chocolate fudge
ice cream with chocolate syrup and little chocolate sprinkles on it! Yummmmm!
Anyway, when you get out of a realtionship it really sucks and you wonder
why you feel like a cheap RM2 hooker named Taloola! Being deprived of
love is one thing humans fear. You see even the inmates in any prison would tell you the same, even why they resort to loving a really huge
mutha fucker known as Butch! Everyone needs love! So says John Lennon
"Love is all you need" Remember that one? I can remember my
dad being very particular about his Beatles record collection! Damn was
he pissed when he found a scratch on one of his records! He would like
kill us if we touched it! Back to the topic, I love commenting about people,
if they look like a giraffe, a pig or rather a lawn mower! I never know
what people think of me, actually I really care because I believe if I
do not comment about people, they would still say something about me!
That beats the whole do unto others, what others do unto you philosophy!
Alright, I'm done.