Beer, cigarettes, and friends

posted onJune 27, 2000

by hitbsecnews

The
three things in life which will never cease to amaze me. My life revolves
around these three things which I guess will never run dry. Well beer will always be produced as long as people like my friends and
me get together, when we say that we want to just sit down and have a
beer and chat! But you soon be as drunk as a prawn to even notice that
you have had 8 jugs! But beers do actually quench your thirst when you
are thirsty, imagine a hot Sunday afternoon and you're sweating from all
the chores you did 5 minutes ago and you're bloody thirsty. There's no
ice nor are there any bottles of coke left in the fridge, then you find
a nice cool can of Carlsberg (or change it to whatever beer brands you're
used to drinking) pop open the can and chug it down... aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
What a refreshing feeling! But don't you ever wonder how a person like
me who doesn't like Quaker oats or malt or any nutritious grains for that
matter, can enjoy such a beverage. Personally I would say that beer taste
like mud, perhaps due to the fact that I consumed a whole lot of mud when
I was training with the military cadets. Even the color looks like your
early morning piss, especially with the froth and everything! I always
wondered how beer could make some Chinese and Indian tummies bloat so
much till the point that when they lie down they actually look like a
Volkswagen? Wonder-fucking-full aye?
Lets
move on to the next thing - tobacco which to me, is the next best thing
to licking the road on a dull Sunday! We always wonder why people smoke
until we start smoking ourselves. It's certainly a strange feeling - dizziness
coupled with the smell of a burning rubbish dump! But the funny thing
is that you just wanna light another one to feed your curiosity and before
you know it, you are on your way to Cancer land but you don't care. Another
funny thing is that, doesn't the government know that they are just wasting
their time putting that small message : AMARAN OLEH KERAJAAN MALAYSIA:
MEROKOK MEMBAHAYAKAN KESIHATAN?? No one actually bothers to read them
if they can fork out RM 4.30 to have a high! Do they actually think someone
would actually put out a cigarette after a puff and go"omigosh! These
things will harm me?!?"
The
biggest possibility is that they would just say something like "omigosh
these things will harm me! oh well l'll have this last one and I'll stop,
then again I guess I shouldn't waste and just finish these other 19 sticks,
oh what the hell only another 2 cartons!" Soon you find out that they have already smoked for 18 years!! Can you even remember the first
puff that you actually "tarik-ed"??? I can remember mine, I
was 7 and I saw my uncle and his friends smoking in my house, and I went
to my grandmas garden, picked up a mango tree leaf, used a pair of scissors
to slowly cut it into little shreds (I was that observant when I was a
kid, cute little bastard huh?) and rolled it with a piece of toilet paper,
then lit that bad boy up and took a drag! My goodness, it was the worst
feeling I had in my throat in my whole entire life up till now.
Friends
will always come and go so says some people, but there will always be
those who will talk behind your back whether good or back, gossiping and
commenting about your dressing or how little hairs sticks out from your
nose! Even the best of friends will do that. Secrets should not be called
secrets because by the end of the week, people would be asking you if
whatever Jim told you was true or was that guy good in bed and crap like
that! Have you ever had one of those English classroom exercises where
the teacher passes a message like "Julie had a hair cut on Thursday"
to the first guy in the classroom and when the message reaches the last
guy, it will all be distorted and something like "Julie went to market on Wednesday and met up with a pork seller (by that I mean a fucking mean
ass tubby bitch butcher) by the name of Orion and had hot kinky sex on
her father's bed and broke a yellow night lamp which her mother bought
on Monday night, then she got his cum on her hair so she had to go cut
it the very next day, which was Thursday!"

You
must be there looking at the monitor saying what the fuck is this guy
on?! I'm willing to bet you're thinking that right now...

What I was trying to illustrate was how dangerous it is to tell someone
a secret! At times we tend to neglect friends when we are too busy with
our own lives, whether it is a relationship or work or just being irritated
by someone saying TOO SILLY! (with a really bad English accent!) But we
have to bear in mind, close friends will always be yours, to gain their
trust and friendship enough for them to refer to you as a close friend
is really tough, it is like applying for a publishing license from the
Kementerian Dalam Negeri. But to lose it takes no effort at all, just
bitch about them, and you soon get a "FUCK OFF!" the next time
you see them, pretty much confirming that you have officially lost a friend.
Simple as that huh? But all I can say is that it is the ties that bind,
whatever it is everyone knows that there is always a friend around when
you are in need. But never take advantage of them because you will soon
hear the F.U confirmation. I do not know what all of you think about this
article but I just felt like writing these things out, whether it applies
to you or not, I hope you enjoyed the sarcasm! I know what you are saying,
this is a bloody fucking long ass-article that pretty much when nowhere!
Well - FUCK YOU TOO!